Lights, Camera, Kill Me Now!
by Joelle8
Summary: Natalie Kabra's clothes weren't selling; no one would sign Hamilton Holt onto a football team. Why? According to their agents, publicity is the answer. And that's how the two former enemies end up starring opposite each other in one heck of a movie.
1. Chapter 1

**Lights… Camera… Kill Me Now!**

Chapter 1

"ARTHUR!"

Not two seconds after the scream rang through the offices of NK Designs, a lanky gentleman with scraggly brown hair dashed into his boss' office, briefcase in hand, tie flying behind him. He stopped, panting, in front of his boss' desk and hurriedly smoothed the wrinkles out of his jacket. If ever a person cared about their employees' appearances, it was his boss.

"You called?" Arthur asked. His boss' chair was turned so that the back of it was facing him, something for which he was immensely grateful; from the sound of it, his boss was angry, and facing her eyes when she was mad… The mere thought of it made him shudder.

"You called, _what_?" A female voice, much younger than Arthur, hissed.

Arthur cringed. "You called, _Madame Kabra_?"

Natalie Kabra spun around in her chair, the picture of calm, if it hadn't been for the way her eyes flashed. Arthur gulped. "Much better," Natalie said, without even a hint of her usual smirk. Uh-oh. This was _not _good.

"Do you know why I called you here, Arthur?" Natalie asked, her tone sickly sweet. Arthur shook his head. "No? Hardly a surprise, you never were the brightest bulb in the batch. Well, then, I suppose I'll just have to show you."

She snapped her fingers, and the lights dimmed in the room. A projection screen lowered, and a line graph appeared on it. The line traveled steadily downwards, and Arthur instantly knew what was wrong.

"Ah," he said shortly, fingering his tie nervously.

"Exactly," Natalie snapped, her amber eyes narrowed at him. "You're the head of marketing, Arthur. Why aren't my clothes selling?"

"I- I don't know, Madame Kabra," Arthur stammered, "It could be any number of things. I know that we've advertised enough; we have posters, and television ads, all over America and the United Kingdom. Your clothes are available in every store that you deemed 'worthy'."

"Then _why are my sales falling faster than your head would if I decided to cut it off thanks to your stupidity_?"

"I-I-I'm sorry, Madame, but I can't tell you!" Arthur exclaimed, unnerved. "I don't know! We've advertised as much as we can! The only other possible reason is that no one knows who you are!"

Immediately, Arthur knew that this was the wrong thing to say. Natalie's amber eyes narrowed to mere slits, and she growled, "No one. Knows. Who. I. Am?"

Arthur did a silent countdown. _3… 2… 1…_

"_How dare you suggest such a thing! _I am _Natalie Kabra_, daughter of Vikram and Isabel Kabra, the most successful art dealers in England! I come from one of the richest families in the entire world! And you _dare _tell me that _no one knows who I am_? You _moron_! You _peasant_! You bloody _git_! Who do you think you are? You are nothing, _nothing_, compared to _me_! _I am Natalie Kabra, and _everyone_ knows who I am_!"

Natalie took her deep breath, closing her eyes in an attempt to calm herself. After a minute, she opened them; there was still an angry fire beneath them, and when she next spoke, it sounded like it took all of her self-control to stop herself from screaming again.

"That… _outburst _was out of order," she forced out, her nose scrunching up like she tasted something bitter. "Explain what you mean."

Arthur breathed a sigh of relief. She wasn't going to kill him after all; not yet, at least. "You see, Madame Kabra, many clothing lines these days- Abbey Dawn, L.A.M.B., and RocaWear, to name just a few- were started by _celebrities. _Celebrities have millions of fans worldwide, if their publicity's been worked right, so when they start a clothing line, then all of those fans feel compelled to check it out. While several people know your name, Madame Kabra, not _everyone _knows who you are. You're not a celebrity."

Natalie nodded slowly. "Interesting theory, Arthur," she said. "So you're saying that if I want my clothes to sell, if need to become more famous? I need to become a celebrity?"

"Well, I wouldn't say that you _needed _to, but it would help, yes."

"So, I should just… get cast in a movie or something?"

"That could work," Arthur spoke, "but it's not as easy as it sounds. First, you need to find a movie that you qualify for. Next, you either need to get down to the studio and audition, or make a tape of yourself acting and send it down to them; personally, I would suggest the former, you might actually get someone to pay attention to you. Not to mention you need an agent, to help you with all of that."

"Alright then." Natalie stood up. "Arthur- you've been promoted."

The man nearly jumped with surprise. "I have?"

"Yes. You're now my official agent." Natalie smirked. "Now go get me in a movie."

XxxxX

"I don't get it, Matt," Hamilton Holt sighed, putting his head in his beefy hands. "Why won't anyone sign me? I did great in training camp!"

"You did a bit, er, _too _well in training camp, Mr. Holt," Matt explained, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly. "You injured nearly all of your fellow trainees."

"Yeah, but I didn't mean to!" Hamilton exclaimed, throwing his hands in the air in exasperation. "It's football! I was _supposed _to tackle them! It's not my fault they weren't as strong as me!"

"That may be so, Mr. Holt," Matt said, "but the fact remains that NFL teams do not want to sign on someone who could potentially injure their teammates."

"Great. Just great," Hamilton muttered. "I guess I'll have to become a- a security guard or something. Like my dad."

Matt couldn't help but feel a stab of pity for the younger- and much, much larger- boy. He had met Eisenhower Holt, he remembered, running a hand over his slicked-back black hair. He didn't want Hamilton Holt to end up like that.

"As your agent, Mr. Holt," he started, "I've been doing my best to convince a team to sign you. But all of them refuse to give you a chance." Hamilton groaned miserably, and Matt went on hurriedly, "However, there might be something we can do."

"What?"

"All teams want publicity. Good publicity, that is. It helps them get more fans, which makes them more money- and we all know how important money is."

"I know, I know, but what does that have to do with me?"

At this, Matt adopted a sly, crooked grin. "What better way to get good publicity than to sign a movie star onto their team?"

Hamilton's jaw dropped. "A- A _movie star_? Matt, you're not seriously thinking what I think you're thinking, are you? I could _never _be a _movie star_!"

"It'll only be one movie; two at the most," Matt assured his client. "Come now, Mr. Holt- playing NFL football is your dream, isn't it?" Hamilton nodded. "You should be willing to do _anything _to accomplish your dream."

"I am!"

"Then star in a movie. Just one. Then, your football career can get started, and we can forget this ever happened. Okay? What do you say, Mr. Holt?"

For a moment, there was silence. Then, Hamilton sighed resignedly, "Okay. I'll do it."

"Excellent," Matt grinned, his eyes glinting. "Then I have a few calls to make."

_**I really shouldn't be starting a brand new story, since I won't have time to update for a long while (so don't nag me about it, people), but I just had to get this idea out of my head. Plus, you know how I love my unusual pairings. :)**_

**_Hope you like it! Any plot ideas are welcome! Lastly- and most importantly- please, please, PLEASE REVIEW!_**

**_Thanks!_**

**_-Joelle8_**


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

"This is an open-casting movie, you say, Arthur?" Natalie asked her agent, perfecting her nails with a hot pink nail file.

"Yes, Madame Kabra," he answered, squirming in his first-class plane seat. He and his boss were flying to Hollywood so she could audition for a movie he had found out about, and he couldn't help but feel out of place amongst all the rich people in the first class seating area, as he was dressed in a simple tweed suit instead of fur coats and Armani.

"Excellent," Natalie said briskly, blowing on her nails and slipping her file back into her pocket book. "I'm a shoe-in, then, because all those nobodies will be _nothing _compared to me."

Arthur couldn't help but be dubious of that, but he didn't dare say it out loud.

"What's this movie about again, Arthur?" Natalie went on.

"It's a romantic comedy, Madame Kabra. The two main characters hate each other at the beginning, but end up falling in love."

"Very cliché. Good enough, though," Natalie sighed, pulling a pink velvet sleeping mask over her eyes. "I'll be getting my beauty sleep. Make sure no one disturbs me, otherwise you'll pay with your life."

She said this all in a sickly sweet tone that Arthur couldn't help shuddering at.

XxxxX

"A _romance_?" Hamilton gaped at his agent. "You've got to be kidding me!"

"Come now, Mr. Holt, this isn't the way to be reacting!" Matt chided kindly. "You should be _happy_! It's open-casting, and it's being done by an excellent crew!"

"But- but- it's a _romance_, for God's sake!" Hamilton exclaimed. "I can't do a _romance_!"

"You can, and you _will_," Matt said firmly. "This might be your only shot, Mr. Holt, and we're going to go through with it."

Hamilton sighed. "It's really my only chance?"

"Quite possibly."

The young man grimaced. "When's my plane flight?"

XxxxX

"ARTHUR!"

"Yes, Madame Kabra?" Arthur sighed. This was, after all, the tenth time she had called his name in three minutes. He could almost stop jumping when he heard her voice now.

"What is taking these people so long?" Natalie snapped. "Don't they realize that I have better things to do with my time than to be here? They should feel privileged that I'm even _considering _their movie!"

Ah. _This _one again. "Madame Kabra, _they _are in charge here. So they expect _you _to wait. Not to mention, there are more people auditioning for the role than just you, and some of them are going before you. But have no fear, Madame Kabra," Arthur checked his watch, "you'll be up in just a moment."

"I better b- oh, no. No, no, no, no, _no_. It _can't _be. What is _he _doing here?"

Natalie Kabra's voice was a mere hiss, and was filled with venom the Arthur had never heard before. Her eyes were dark and full to the brim with hate as they glared past Arthur's shoulder. The tweedy man turned around, and saw the unfortunate object of his boss' gaze: A hulk of a man, with more muscles than Arthur could count, stood there, blonde hair cut short, blue eyes looking around bewilderedly.

"Who is that, Madame Kabra?" He asked tentatively. He was, as usual, ignored. Instead, Natalie stood up from her chair, smoothed down her dress, and, with a determined look on her face, walked towards the buff man.

After a split second decision, Arthur followed.

The young man turned around and finally noticed Natalie. His eyes widened before narrowing to mere slits.

"What are _you _doing here, _Dolt_?" Natalie asked loudly, not bothering to disguise how upset she was.

"None of your beeswax, _Cobra_," The young man shot back, just as viciously. "Oh, and I'm pretty sure _you're _the dolt here, because, in case you've forgotten, my name is _Holt_." Arthur cringed; he knew, firsthand, that _no one _talked to Natalie Kabra like that and got away with it.

Sure enough, Natalie's nostrils flared, and her eyes flashed. "You insolent, arrogant little mutt!" She growled. "You're just lucky I'm not armed, or else I would remind exactly why I never got anything less than _perfect _in target practice!"

"You don't scare me anymore," the young man sneered. "Heck, you didn't scare me then, either. After all, you were just some stuck-up eleven-year-old who did everything their precious Mommy said. Yeah, that's _so _scary." He ran his eyes over her. "Clearly, you haven't changed a bit."

"Oh, yeah? Do you know what I remember about _you_, Hamilton Holt?" Natalie said, taking a step closer to him, eyes narrowing even more. "The fact that you were too stupid to use any tactics besides brute strength, and that you looked up to your lazy oaf of a father like he was some new god." She smirked at the young man- Hamilton- whose features took on a look of outrage. "Obviously, you're still the same moron you were when we were kids."

"You have _no right _to talk about my father!" Hamilton retaliated. "You don't know anything about him!"

"Oh, really?" Natalie arched an eyebrow coolly. "I know that he has a below-average IQ, that he flunked out of nearly every career he tried to take up, and that he's a disgrace to the family. If that's not knowing anything about him, then I'd _hate _to take a look in the mind of a person who _does _know something about him."

"Yeah? Well, what about your mother?" Natalie was surprisingly silent at this- though her expression was furious- as if waiting for him to go on. Arthur couldn't help but crane his head forward and listen; he'd never known much about Madame Kabra's mother, except that she and Natalie didn't have the best of relationships anymore. "Have you forgotten everything she's done? That she's manipulated dozens of people for her own purposes? That she's hurt innocent people, that she's a stinking _murderer_-"

"SHUT UP!" Natalie yelled. "JUST SHUT UP, YOU IDIOT BAFFOON! DON'T TALK ABOUT HER!"

"YOU WANT ME TO SHUT UP? _MAKE _ME!" Hamilton shouted back. "OH WAIT, THAT'S RIGHT- YOU CAN'T! BECAUSE YOU'RE NOTHING BUT A LYING, CHEATING, NO GOOD _SNAKE_- JUST LIKE YOUR MOTHER!"

"I AM NOT LIKE HER!" Natalie screamed. "I'M NOT! YOU DON'T KNOW _ANYTHING_, YOU IGNORANT EXCUSE FOR A HUMAN BEING! YOU HAVE _NO IDEA_-"

"OH YEAH? IF I HAVE NO IDEA, THEN HOW DO I KNOW ALL THAT ABOUT YOUR MOTHER? OH, DO YOU WANT TO HEAR SOMETHING ABOUT YOUR _FATHER _INSTEAD? MAYBE THAT HE'S A STUPID BASTA-"

In one quick, fluid motion, Natalie slapped Hamilton, so hard that his head turned to the side. The sound rang throughout the room. Both prospective actors were seething; Hamilton's face was purple, and Natalie hadn't even noticed her hair was out of place.

"If you don't stop talking about my family _right now_," Natalie began, in a voice so quiet that it was all the more frightening, "then I swear to every deity that may or may not exist, I will make you regret ever being born. I will make you wish that you didn't exist, that you were nothing beyond a _worm_."

Arthur, who was nearly quaking with fear by this point even though none of the words had been addressed to him, couldn't help but be impressed by Hamilton when the young man, instead of running away in terror, merely smirked. "You'd know a lot about worms, considering you _are _one, Natalie."

For a moment, there was silence. Then, Natalie let out a piercing shriek and lunged at Hamilton, punching every part of him she could reach. He struggled to grab her flying fists, and once he did, she promptly kneed him where it counted. His face contorted into an expression of extreme anguish, but he refused to let go of Natalie. Arthur had to admire him for that.

"Holy mother of crap, woman, are you _trying _to render me incapable of having kids?" Hamilton snapped.

"Of course I am! The last thing we need is more people like _you _in this world," Natalie spat.

"Oh, yeah? Because if you ask me-"

"No one _did _ask you, moron," Natalie rolled her eyes, "in case you're deaf as well as dumb."

"Well, _I'm_ asking me, then!" Hamilton exclaimed. "And what I was _going _to say that the last thing _I _think this world needs is more people like _you_!"

To Arthur's surprise. Natalie smirked. "Are you really running out of insults that quickly, Hamilton? Tut, tut. Perhaps you _are _as stupid as you look!"

Natalie seemed to have struck a nerve, because Hamilton screamed, "I AM _NOT _STUPID!"

"YES, YOU ARE!" Natalie bellowed back. "YOU'RE TOO STUPID TO REALIZE THAT NO ONE IN YOUR FAMILY CARES ABOUT YOU-"

"OH, SO WE'RE BACK ON FAMILIES, ARE WE?" Hamilton retorted. "ARE YOU _REALLY _ONE TO BE TELLING ME THAT NO ONE IN MY FAMILY CARES WHAT I SAY, WHEN YOU'VE BEEN OVERLOOKED FOR _EVERYTHING _EVER SINCE YOU WERE BORN- HECK, YOU DON'T EVEN _SPEAK _TO YOUR PARENTS ANYMORE!"

"SHUT UP!"

"IS THAT ALL YOU CAN SAY? 'SHUT UP'? WELL, GUESS WHAT, I HAVE MORE: _YOUR PARENTS DON'T LOVE YOU._"

"_SHUT UP! _JUST SHUT UP, YOU MISERABLE PIECE OF FILTH!"

"_YOU _SHUT UP, YOU WITCH!"

"PEASANT!"

"SNOB!"

"DISGRACE TO THE FAMILY!"

"DISOWNED NUTCASE!"

"INANE BRUTE!"

"BAD-TEMPERED HARPY!"

"SON OF A BIT-"

The exchange of insults was interrupted at the sound of clapping, and an enthusiastic voice saying, "Yo, that is off the _chain_, man! Y'all got the parts! That's _exactly _the kind o' chemistry the Wiz was lookin' for!"

Hamilton and Natalie whirled around at the same time, wearing identical looks of horror. There, hands still clapping, wearing a black hat with "DIRECTOR" printed on it in large, white letters in addition to his usual bling, was none other than Jonah Wizard.

_**Eh, definitely not my best work ever, but I don't think it's my worst. In either case, what do YOU think? Please tell me in a REVIEW!**_

**_Thanks much,_**

**_Joelle8_**


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

"_Jonah_?" Hamilton and Natalie gaped at their cousin at the same time.

"Hamilton Holt? Natalie Kabra?" Jonah's head swerved from one to the other before his face broke out into a large grin. "Yo, I _knew _I recognized your voices! Welcome to the cast, my homies!" He looked around the rest of the room and waved grandly at them. "Thanks for comin', but I've got my two leads! Ya'll can go now!"

There were more than a few disgruntled protests; Jonah snapped his fingers, and two large bodyguards- both around the size of Hamilton- stepped forward. The protesters blanched before hastily scattering. Soon, the only people in the room were Jonah, Hamilton, Natalie, Arthur, Matt, and the two bodyguards.

"_You're _the director?" Natalie asked, eyes bulging in shock. Without waiting for a response, she whirled around to face Arthur. "Why wasn't I informed of this?"

"I-I didn't think it would b-b-be a problem, Madame," Arthur stammered nervously. "I wasn't a-aware that you kn-knew him."

"You _imbecile_," Natalie hissed, eyes narrowing to mere slits. "You sign me up to audition for a movie and you don't even think to tell me who the director is? _Idiot_!"

Arthur was a good foot- maybe more- taller than Natalie, but he withered under her harsh gaze as if she towered over him.

"Cool it, Natalie, it's not the dude's fault!" Hamilton exclaimed, taking pity on the poor man. "Like he said, he didn't know! Because _you didn't tell him_!"

"How was Isupposed to know that it mattered? Last I checked Jonah was just a musician!"

"I _am _a musician," Jonah interjected, "and that ain't ever changing. But didn't ya'll see me in the movie, 'Gangsta Madness'? And the sequel, 'Gangsta Madness 2'? And the video game based on it?" Natalie and Hamilton both wore blank faces, so Jonah sighed and went on, "Anyways, it's all about the different levels of fame. I started at musician; I rose to an actor; now, I'm gonna be a director."

Natalie groaned. "Oh, I hate my life."

"Yeah, yeah, we all care _so _much," Hamilton rolled his eyes. Natalie glared and opened her mouth to retort, but Jonah cut her off.

"C'mon, c'mon, save some o' that for the big screen, will you?" he grinned. "Geez, I can't _believe_ I never noticed how much chemistry ya'll have!"

"_We do not have chemistry!_"

"Mmm-hmm. Sure you don't," Jonah said dismissively. "Anyways, I've got some copies of the shooting schedule-"

"Wait, _shooting_? You mean we get to use guns?" Hamilton interrupted excitedly. "_Sweet!_"

"You're such a moron," Natalie sighed, massaging her temples to help ease her frustration. "_Shooting _is the term used for _filming _when one is making a movie!"

"Oh… I knew that," Hamilton said, his quiet tone conveying the opposite. No one- not even Natalie, as she was busy trying to get rid of her rapidly growing headache- chose to call him out on it.

"No prob, Ham," Jonah grinned. The young Holt glared at him menacingly, so Jonah quickly amended, "I mean Hamilton. As I was saying before, I have some copies of the shooting schedule in my office; I'll go get 'em. Ya'll stay right here, a'ight?" Shooting all of them a first-rate movie star grin, he all but skipped away to his office.

_Janus, _Natalie sighed internally. _Otherwise known as idiots who see "chemistry" where there is none and are too bloody peppy for their own good._

An awkward silence had enveloped the room. Hamilton and Natalie were glaring daggers at each other; if looks could kill, both of them would have already dropped dead. Matt and Arthur were exchanging nervous, slightly cautious glances.

"So," Matt started, fiddling anxiously with his tie, "how do you two know each other?"

Hamilton's eyes didn't wander as he answered. "Distant cousins. _Very _distant."

Matt and Arthur both raised eyebrows at this. Hamilton and Natalie certainly didn't _look _related. With her long, silky black hair, sharp amber eyes, rather petite height and cinnamon skin, Natalie didn't resemble the tall, tan, blue-eyed, spiky-blond-haired Hamilton in the least bit, and vice versa.

"The relative that we share lived in the sixteenth century," Natalie snapped, as if reading their thoughts. "We're barely related at all, really."

"If you're so d-d-distantly related, h-how do you know each other?" Arthur asked.

"Our family liked to have reunions, once upon a time," Hamilton replied. Natalie snorted.

"'Once upon a time'? Going Janus on us, are you?"

"Still discriminating between the branches, are you? So much for all the Madrigals' hard work; and to think you try to call yourself one of their supporters."

Arthur and Matt both frowned in confusion; what was a Janus and a Madrigal? And what were the branches that Hamilton was talking about? Their expressions went unnoticed by both Cahills.

"Just because I support a lack of warring doesn't mean that I have to like all the branches," Natalie retorted, placing her hands on her hips. "After all, just because _you _support the Madrigals as well, doesn't mean you have to like the Ekaterina."

"Touché."

"Ooo, French! What a big word for little Hamilton!" Natalie said in a high-pitched squeal of a voice. "Want a gold star?"

"I'm older and taller than you. You can't call me 'little'," Hamilton pointed out.

"But _I _am smarter than you. 'Little' is used as a derogatory term in this case, as one intelligent person would use in regard to an idiot. Therefore, my use of the word was completely appropriate."

"Didn't I already tell you to save that chemistry for the screen, Natalie?" Jonah asked, his voice sounding absolutely delighted as he reappeared in the room, two packets in hand. He handed one to Hamilton and the other to Natalie. "That contains all the information you need to know about the filming. Come on time, or we'll start without you. No exceptions."

"No slurred excuse for English?" Natalie arched one eyebrow in surprise. "Must be a miracle, Jonah."

"Play nice, Natalie," Jonah warned with a sly glint in his eye. "_Especially _to me."

Natalie laughed. "Why should I 'play nice'? Especially to _you_?"

Jonah smirked. "Because I'm the director of this movie, and if I wanted to, I could fire you like _that_." He snapped his fingers right on cue.

The true meaning of that statement dawned suddenly on Natalie. "You mean…" she paused, gulping at the horror of it, her skin blanching. "You're my _boss_? I have to do what _you _say?"

Jonah just grinned. "Welcome to the team, 'cuz."

XxxxX

Hamilton frowned. "This is _not funny_, Reagan!"

"Oh, yes it is!" His younger sister's voice came through the phone, the words barely discernible through her laughter. "_You _playing the lead in a _romantic movie _with _Natalie Kabra_? Tell me that isn't the funniest thing you've heard since… since… since awhile!"

"It's not funny when you're in my position!" Hamilton exclaimed. "Honestly, try to imagine yourself in a movie with- with- Dan Cahill or something! And he's playing your romantic interest!"

Reagan stopped laughing immediately. "Don't say things like that, Hammer. You'll give me nightmares," she said in a tone of the utmost seriousness.

"_Exactly. _It's a nightmare. And I'm _living _it!"

"I feel bad for you, bro, I really do," Reagan said. "But it's still pretty funny-"

"Thanks, that _really _makes me feel better-"

"Oh, don't be such a drama queen, Hamilton," Reagan drawled. Hamilton could practically see her rolling her eyes. "It'll all work out alright in the end, you'll see. You'll get famous, the NFL will sign you, and you'll never have to see Cobra again. Okay?"

"…When'd you get _logical_, Reagan?"

"I have no idea," Reagan sighed. There was a pause. "You know, Dad's real proud of you."

"For starring in some pansy movie with our former enemy?"

"Heck no! For chasing your dream."

Hamilton smiled. "He told that to you?"

"Well, Mom told me he said it. She was making Dad rest when I called. 'Doctor's orders!' apparently," Reagan informed her brother, mimicking her mother's tone perfectly. It was a bit eerie.

"Dad must hate that," Hamilton chuckled.

"Well, he hated going to the hospital even more, so he's not complaining that much," Reagan said. "Listen, I've got to go now. I have a class to teach."

"I still can't believe _you _became a _ballet teacher_."

"I can't believe _you're _an actor."

Hamilton glared, even though he knew his sister couldn't see it. "Fine, fine, I see your point," he grumbled. "Have a good class; bye."

"Bye!"

XxxxX

The phone was picked up on the third ring. "May I ask who's calling?"

"Don't pretend you don't know it's me, Ian," Natalie snapped immediately. "Are you busy? I need to talk to you."

"Is it important?"

"Yes."

"Hold on a moment."

There was the sound of shuffling papers, and then Ian's voice returned. "Alright, I can spare a minute or two. Please, Natalie, for the sake of me and the Lucian branch, make this quick."

"So you know how my clothes haven't been selling, right? Right. Well, I decided that I needed more publicity. If I was famous, then more people would know my name, so more people would buy my clothes. Makes sense, right? I know it does; it was a brilliant idea on my part. Anyways, my agent got me an audition for a movie. I got the part."

"And what, may I ask, is the problem with you succeeding?"

"The movie is directed by Jonah Wizard, and my character's romantic interest is played by" -Here, Natalie swallowed a baby barf-"_Hamilton Holt_."

There was a pause. Finally, Ian said, "You've really gotten yourself in a horrid situation, haven't you?"

"_Obviously_," Natalie drawled. "Oh, Ian, what am I to do? I can't possibly do this movie- but otherwise, I'll lose my business, and we can't afford that!"

"Yes, yes, the Lucian branch's finances still aren't flourishing quite as well as they were when our parents ripped off everyone and anyone, I have to admit," Ian cleared his throat awkwardly, "so you can't back down now, Natalie. Besides, _giving up _isn't the Kabra way."

Natalie sat up straighter in her plush seat. "You're right, Ian. I am a Kabra- I do not back down, no matter what challenges face me."

"At least our parents taught us one thing worth knowing," Ian grumbled.

"Yes, indeed," Natalie said. She paused, and then hesitantly went on, "Have you… have you heard anything about them lately? From the prison?"

"Not lately; I spoke to the prison workers about a month ago, though, and they told me that our parents have yet to attempt another escape."

"Good," Natalie murmured. "Mum drank the Lucian serum, though… I can't help but wonder how long it will take for the instincts of our noble ancestor to kick in and provide her with a foolproof plan for breaking out."

"With any luck, Natalie, the effects of the serum will have begun to fade away by now, instead of strengthening," Ian spoke. "Not to be rude, but is this all you had to call about? I have business to attend to."

"Anything you need my help on? I can always have the jet fly me down to Paris."

"No, thank you. This is something I should do on my own." Ian paused. "The oddest thing happened earlier today… I bumped into one of our dear relatives. Amy Cahill. Apparently, Nellie lives in Paris for the time being- the woman's a diplomat now, can you believe it?- and Amy is visiting her."

Despite her morbid mood, Natalie chortled. "This business you have to attend to couldn't have anything to do with this chance encounter, could it?"

"No, of course not!" Ian exclaimed quickly. "I have to go now. Goodbye, Natalie. Good luck."

"Same to you," Natalie replied before a buzzing alerted her to the fact that her brother had hung up.

Natalie smirked. As much as she disliked Amy Cahill, making her brother uncomfortable was extremely amusing.

**_I'm a terrible person, I know. I haven't updated this story in a MONTH! :-O Blame school. But I had time today- not to mention ideas- so I wrote it, even if it is a bit filler-ish! :D At the very least, it's longer than the other ones. And I THINK it's well written enough..._**

**_Anyways, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE review! With your honest opinions, please- even if that includes throwing rotten vegetables at me!_**

**_Thanks always,_**

**_Joelle8_**

**_P.S. DISCLAIMER (I always seem to forget this, so this one counts for the entire story, to save me from Scholastic's wrath): Recognize it? From something that's not mine? Then IT'S NOT MINE. Shocker, right? :P_**


	4. Chapter 4

_**NOTE: PLEASE **__**READ THE AUTHOR'S NOTE AT THE END OF THIS CHAPTER**__**. IT'S **__**VERY IMPORTANT.**__** Thank you.**_

Chapter 4

"_JONAH!_"

The room nearly shook from the sheer volume of the scream- two screams actually, in perfect unison, both filled with the same amount of rage. The aforementioned director's dark skin paled.

"Hey, ya'll!" he grinned broadly, using all his acting skills to hide his fear. "What's cookin'?"

"Don't you _dare _talk to me like that, Jonah," Natalie hissed. She waved a packet of papers in his face, nearly slapping him with it. "_Explain_."

Jonah frowned. "Explain what? Isn't the script clear enough?"

"Yeah it's clear enough," Hamilton glared at him, his sizeable fists clenched menacingly at his sides. "That's the problem: Why are we doing a movie based off the Clue Hunt?"

"Oh." Jonah fiddled with his beret nervously. "Well, d'y'all remember how my dad wanted to film the Clue Hunt back when it was actually going on? That's because it's the kinda thing that'd be _perfect _for a movie! I figured that it's been long enough since then, and the branches get along better now, so why not? Don't worry, I _did _change the character names, and the main focus of the movie-"

"We figured that out," Natalie snapped. "You changed it into some Romeo-and-Juliet _love story _type… type _thing_, with the main characters being" -she looked down at her script-"Anna K. Hill and Ivan Cobra." Her eyes narrowed to mere slits. "You can see why I'm not pleased."

"No, I don't see, actually," Jonah retorted. "A'ight, you're probably not happy about me turning your last name into Cobra, but the characters' names can be changed easily enough-"

"Jonah, this is a breach of security," Hamilton cut in. "Once this movie comes out, every single Cahill- and you know that there are a lot- will know what it's based on. So will all of the Cahills' enemies. They'll know all about the Clues, the Hunt _and _our family- this is _dangerous, _Jonah! You could get someone killed!"

"As much as I hate to agree with a Dolt, he's actually being sensible for once," Natalie nodded. "Have you even discussed this with the other Branch Leaders? They, at the very least, need to know. They _deserve _to know. After all, you're taking their identities!"

"And _you're _playing them. Don't ya'll get it? This is a _movie_. One with a fairly cliché plot at that. Who's going to think that it's real? All the Cahills already know about the Hunt; so do all of our enemies. I don't see a problem with fictionalizing it. If anything, it'll send people on the wrong track-"

"You didn't answer her question. Have you talked to the other Branch Leaders about it?" Hamilton asked.

The director's following grin was so sly that for once, Natalie could believe that Jonah was related to the noble Luke Cahill, however so distantly. "I've told at least one leader from every Branch that I'm going to do a movie about the Clue Hunt."

Natalie regarded him suspiciously. "Don't play sneaky on me, Wizard, I'm a _Lucian_. You say you told at least one leader from every Branch about your pathetic little movie? I'll believe that. But you're keeping something from us. Who did you talk to from each branch?"

"From the Janus, yours truly," Jonah flashed his movie-star grin. "Dan Cahill for the Madrigals; he thinks it'll be hilarious. At least _someone _has a sense of humor in this family! For the Ekaterinas, Ned Starling-"

"Hang on," Hamilton frowned, "Ned's not head of the Ekats! He has brain problems, he can't think straight most of the time!"

"He's Alistair's protégé, and Alistair was busy when I went to go talk to him, so I got the 'okay' from Ned instead. Don't worry, y'all, he was coherent as I am right now! Now let's see, who else… oh yeah, Ivan Kleister told me I could do the movie on the Tomas' behalf- he said something about wanting the Holts' stupidity and betrayal exposed to the world."

Hamilton muttered something incomprehensible under his breath; Jonah and Natalie could only make out a few words, none of which they dared repeat.

"And from the Lucians?" The girl flipped her hair over her shoulder. "I'd be _very _surprised if Ian agreed to that."

"When'd I say that everyone agreed to it?" Jonah countered. "I just said I told a leader from every Branch about it. And I did; I just told _you_, didn't I?"

Natalie's jaw dropped. She spluttered in outrage. "Why you little-"

"-Boss," Jonah finished in a sing-song voice. "Remember who's in charge here, Natalie. I'm doin' this movie whether you like it or not, and unless y'all want to forego your careers- don't give me those looks, I'm not stupid, I know exactly why y'all are doin' this- you're doing this movie, too."

Silence. One moment; two; three. Finally Hamilton stated, "You're not dying my hair, you know. Ivan Cobra's not gonna look very much like the guy he's based off of."

"And red hair would _not _go with my skin tone. Not to mention the _clothes_." Natalie shuddered. "Can I design my wardrobe for the movie? Please? If I have to wear Amy's clothes, I think I might die."

Jonah beamed and jovially put his arms around the shoulders of his two leads. "See? Ya'll are already demanding you have things your way! You're practically professionals!" With that, he led his cousins out of the room.

XxxxX

The director slumped in his armchair tiredly, massaging his throat. He rang a bell on the table next to him; a woman with a clipboard and thin spectacles instantly dashed in. "You called, Mr. Wizard?"

"Yes, Peggy. Could you get me some herbal tea? With a spring of lemon." He massaged his throat again. "Screaming all day really isn't good for you."

"Of course, Mr. Wizard. I'm on it!" Peggy sprinted away; Jonah smiled. He should really give her a raise.

He turned to the man sitting on the couch across from him, reading a newspaper. He chuckled. "Real subtle, Dad, real subtle."

A humorously innocent voice came out from behind the newspaper. "What? I'm reading!"

"It's upside-down, Dad."

Broderick Wizard sighed and lowered the paper, revealing his ever-loyal Blackberry. "_Some_one has to manage your business, I don't care what Peggy says about me being obsessed. So how'd rehearsal go today?"

"Okay," Jonah shrugged. "Those two _really _don't get along… I mean it's great chemistry and all, but it makes it impossible to get anything done!"

"Maybe they should see a relationship counselor," Broderick suggested, not looking up from his phone. "Someone who could help them sort out their issues. Besides, it might make them more comfortable with being in a romantic situation. After all, it's called _couples _therapy for a reason."

Jonah sat up straighter, thinking it over. "That's a good idea, Dad. D'you know anyone?"

Broderick thought for a moment. "I have someone in mind. Want me to contact them?"

"Sure."

"On it."

Just then, Peggy returned. "Here's your tea, Mr. Wizard- Mr. Wizard!" she exclaimed in a scolding voice when she saw Broderick. "I thought I told you to put that away; spending too much time on cell phones is bad for your health!"

"But Peggy, it's _work_, I'm in the middle of something-ˮ

Jonah could help but laugh.

XxxxX

"I-"

"I'm your boss."

"But thi-"

"I control your salary."

"Let me finis-"

"I control your job."

That finally shut Natalie up. Hamilton snickered as Jonah breathed a sigh of relief. Sometimes he wondered if Isabel Kabra's evilness had anything to do with her daughter's utter obnoxiousness… And then he remembered that it was most likely the other way around. His brain quickly shut up after that.

The more-than-triple-threat performer looked at his leads seriously. "Right, so y'all know that I love your fights- lots of chemistry there, great chemistry, and I want y'all to keep that, but I need y'all to stop fighting so much. I can't work with you guys if you're constantly screamin' at each other! So Dad set up an appointment for you two with L.A.'s leading relationship counselor-"

"Hey! We aren't in a relationship!" Hamilton protested. Jonah went on unperturbed.

"-You two are gonna see this counselor, and _deal with it, _until y'all can sort out your issues with each other enough to work together. 'Cause lemme tell ya, no one's ever gonna hire a football player who can't put aside a grudge for one game"-Hamilton rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly-"or work for someone who'll scream at them twenty-four/seven." Natalie's jaw dropped in outrage, but she managed to keep her tongue this time. Jonah grinned.

"Great. So y'all ready? Yeah? Good, let's head in!"

He pushed the door open wearing his brightest movie star grin, his two cousins following him with straight backs, if stony faces. The counselor spoke before any of them got the chance to: "You still don't know how to knock, Jonah? Pity- one would think you would've learned by now."

Three pairs of eyes widened in shock as they landed on the woman whose icy statement dripped with superiority: auburn hair in a carefully styled bun, fashionable spectacles over blue-grey eyes, and, her most striking feature, the countless tiny scars that marred her otherwise pale, freckly skin.

"_Sinead?_" Natalie, Hamilton and Jonah chorused in shock. The Starling stood up with a sly grin; she wore a grey suit that covered all of curves, Jonah couldn't help noticing.

He quickly shook the thought out of his head, instead asking, "_You're _the counselor my dad called? But- why would _you _want to be a _counselor_?"

Sinead shrugged nonchalantly. "I went to college enough to get a degree in psychology, as well as some others. Believe it or not, I'm excellent at understanding and helping people- it came out of helping my brothers after the explosion." Hamilton winced guiltily, though it went unnoticed. "So I decided to try my hand at being a counselor, just sort of as an experiment. It's been going pretty well- as your dad told you, I'm L.A.'s finest." She smirked. "I'm thinking of quitting soon, though, and going to medical school. Ted's doctors are taking too long to get rid of his blindness."

Natalie arched one perfectly sculpted eyebrow. "And you think you'll be able to?"

Jonah's eyes instantly latched onto the scene. He knew that Sinead's answer would make or break whether she would succeed at being Natalie and Hamilton's counselor; after all, Natalie would only ever take advice from someone who she respected. And that meant someone who could match her nastiness.

Sinead arched one eyebrow back. "Well, I _am _an Ekat who attended and finished college enough times in the course of ten years to acquire more professional degrees than you can count on one of your tiny hands. So, yes, I do think that I could help my brother better than his current non-Cahill doctors."

The two women stared each other straight in the eyes for a few moments. Jonah held his breath; their seemed to be a silent tremor in the air and then, Natalie smirked.

"Touché, cousin."

The director could've fainted. He would've if he could've trusted Hamilton to catch him, but the NFL hopeful looked to have a similar opinion of the situation.

Sinead nodded, a small, satisfied smile on her lips, before speaking again. "Jonah, you can go. Natalie and Hamilton, please, sit down, and we'll start the session."

All three did as she told them. Jonah beamed as he left- hoping that maybe, Sinead caught a glimpse of it before he left, since he knew it was his best million-watt grin; maybe this would work at all.

Maybe, everything would actually work out in the end.

He knocked on the wooden railway just in case.

XxxxX

_**Six months is a long time. I know. I'm sorry. In addition to the worst Writer's Block of my life, I've been through a lot. In fact, there are still a lot of issues that I'm dealing with.**_

_**Which is why, after this [awful] chapter, **__**I am officially putting this story- as well as all my other multi-chapter stories- on hiatus.**_

_**Making that decision has been hard for me. Believe me, **__**it's not a spur of the moment thing; I wouldn't do it if I didn't feel like I genuinely needed to**__**. However, it just so happens that I **_**do **_**genuinely need to, for the sake of my sanity. I'm not using that phrase lightly. **_

_**I'm sure that you're all disappointed in me, angry at me. Heck, **_**I'm **_**disappointed in myself! I'm angry at myself! But please, **__**if you respect me at all, if you care about me even the tiniest bit, don't yell at me for doing this. Don't nag me to update again**__**. Please, just leave me be, and **__**I'll update as soon as I feel able to**__**. I don't know when that will be, but I'll try to make it as soon as possible. I've gotten some inspiration back for this story, so I'm going to try to write at least half of it during this hiatus- the whole thing, hopefully, if I can- as well as write more for my other multi-chapter stories. **_

_**Again, I'm so terribly sorry. **__**If you truly need to know why I'm doing this- if you won't be able to accept my decision otherwise- then send me a PM.**__** I'll tell you the truth, but I warn you, it's not in any way cheery, because you reach a point in life where it's not all thunderclouds replace the rainbows and wasps the butterflies, and doesn't make happiness at all.**_

_**Thank you so much, to everyone, for all your support. Special thanks to **_**KLBooks **_**for helping me get over my writer's block for this story and **_**Iris Cornelia Jade **_**for pushing me to update at least this once. We all owe them a round of applause. **_

_**Yours no matter what,**_

_**Joelle8**_


End file.
